I imagine everyone has a time in their life when they wonder what happened to the person they thought they would be. We lose some of ourselves, between trying to meld our life to another’s and changing to meet the demands of the reality we face when we’re no longer wide eyed, ready to take on the world children. We discover ourselves as we grow but mostly we discover ourselves when we’re grown. I didn’t become the famous singer I had hoped to. Neither did I become a successful author, though I’m still trying. Publishing the first book took many years but brought me more joy than a single post can express. In that first book, I stripped Marcus of all his hopes and expectations. In their place I gave him a fierce strength to become, as much as he could, the man he had once hoped to be. I think this is something many of us do. There are some successes and of course, failures. A failure doesn’t mean you should give up, it means you need to find another way forward, if only one small step at a time. The Long Road Back to me is the short story I wrote and am proud to say was published in the ARIA anthology Rhode Trip. Though it’s fiction, I think everyone can identify with the feelings contained in the story. I’m including an excerpt, hoping you’ll enjoy it, but also hoping you’ll check out the anthology. I’m only one of many authors and all are deserving of the time it will take you to read their stories.
The Long Walk Back to Me
by Debra Zannelli
It’s the smallest state, only forty eight miles across, only forty three for me, still I think the crossing will take me years. I wonder if two days will be long enough when I have a lifetime of things to think about, things I should have thought about a long time ago. I’m leaving for good though it’s hard to believe. I’m walking because everything I have is his and though I could take some things with me, I don’t want any of it. I hocked the diamond on my way to work. The manager of the store across the street from the bank where I worked, took it without asking any questions. My boss had lots of questions. I told her I wasn’t staying, and wouldn’t be coming back. I’m not burning bridges, I’m destroying them. Before I left, I closed out my checking and savings accounts and emptied our vacation account. The money won’t buy me a new life but it’s a down payment.
Debra Zannelli Author 