Going to see the neurosurgeon today. I hate driving to Providence especially alone, but what can you do. I did get a call back about my other issue and it’s a cyst so I’m supposed to do MRI’s to keep watching it. Have I said I hate MRI’s. Sucked into a machine where the top is about five inches away from your head which is held in place by a basket very much reminding me of Silence of the lambs, though it really isn’t that bad. First you go through all the tests, sounds like someone’s hammering all around you, then they redo them with contrast. Last time, last Monday, I actually needed a break. While the tests were being run, I said all the prayers I knew, recited the Desiderata and counted to 1000, more times than I can remember. Of course I also wrote a best selling Pulitzer prize novel but I can’t remember it either. I’m tired. Deep down inside I’m just plain tired. I choose to wait and watch a tumor only once, for this. I’m pretty sure that was a mistake. I was afraid of not being able to walk, but the odds are worse now.